FAITH AND A SUITCASE: The God Who Sees Me
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
Genesis 16:13
Hi Kingdom Family,
This week, I am wrapping up a four-month solo journey with the Lord Jesus. For more than two years now, I have been traveling with Him across nations, states, and unfamiliar places, learning what it means to follow without a map. By this point in a trip, I usually feel the weight of distance and miss the comforts of home. However, this final week feels different.
Instead of rushing toward what comes next, I have found myself slowing down and reflecting. I feel deep gratitude for all Jesus has taught me. He has faithfully walked with me through it all. We have shared many mountaintop moments and just as many tears. Every part has a purpose.
I’ve learned a lot from the sloths in Costa Rica, who take their sweet time and move with quiet intention. The slow life is good for the soul and I leave this leg of my trip with a renewed sense of joy that was born through simplicity.
I know most readers come here for prophetic words, and I will continue to share them. In fact, I have a new one ready to be released! For now, though, I wanted to share a few personal stories that have touched my heart.
Last week, I was in La Fortuna, Costa Rica. While there, I hiked through the volcano region on a trail called El Silencio, which means “the silence.”
The Holy Spirit taught me a real life parable through this experience.
The sun was out when I started the journey, so I did not bring a raincoat or any covering. But once I was deep in the rainforest, the skies suddenly opened and rain poured down without warning. Within minutes, I was soaked and cold. There was no shelter, no one else around, and no clear way out. My tears mixed with the rain as the forest roared around me. I was too overwhelmed to even pray, I just thought, “Please help me endure, Father!”
And I did endure.
I kept walking, step by step, through pounding rain and discomfort. At times, the trail grew rough and I nearly panicked. Still, I had no choice but to keep moving forward.
It wasn’t until I reached the summit that God provided.
When I finally arrived, I looked down and saw something that stopped me in my tracks. A rain poncho was just sitting there on the trail, directly along my path!!!
I laughed out loud because it felt deeply personal. I knew it was for me. Once I had protection, the journey down was so much easier and I smiled like a happy child in the rain!
Prophetically, this moment mattered. God did not stop the rain. He did not remove the storm halfway up the mountain. He strengthened me to endure it, and He met me at the top with provision. The covering did not come at the beginning. It came after perseverance. The gift arrived only after I kept walking without knowing how it would turn out.
In the days that followed, Jesus continued showing up in tangible ways, meeting needs only He would know. One day, I was hungry and did not have time to get groceries. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, a neighbor came over with soup. Another day, a shuttle dropped me off in a new town, and I had no idea how to get to my Airbnb. At that exact moment, a young woman walked up and asked, “Do you need a ride?”
It is my prayer that in this season, we all slow down enough to notice the practical ways Jesus answers our unspoken prayers each day. He’s truly an ever-present help in times of trouble and such a sweetheart. He knows our needs before we ever voice them.
Scripture reminds us of this:
“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24).
“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
Isaiah 55:12
Psalm 107:2
“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story…”
Traveling with Jesus has become one of the places I feel Him most. I am in awe of His creation. In nature, everything feels quieter, closer and more alive. I took this photo at a waterfall the other day and felt an overwhelming sense of joy, the kind that settles deep in your chest and reminds you that God is near.
Moments like that also carry a familiar ache. They make me miss my mother. Near the end of her life she talked about all the places she hoped to see and never did. Now as I travel her memory feels closer. I sometimes sense that we are still seeing the world together, even if she now views it from Heaven. Happy moments are definitely the hardest. When something funny happens, I miss calling her and laughing together.
My mother, Vicki, was always afraid of heights, but one time we went on a thrilling excursion over the Royal Gorge in Colorado. While riding the skycoaster she started shouting, “I’m doing it! I’m doing it!” These days, whenever I try something that scares me, I whisper those same words: “I’m doing it, Mom! I’m doing it!” She was the best mother and taught me so much about Christ. I miss her with all my heart and soul.
These solo trips have been a profound part of my healing. Along the way, I meet people carrying deep grief, from death and divorce to the slow surrender of a life they once imagined. There’s a shared tenderness in our conversations, a quiet recognition that we’re all doing our best to rebuild in the midst of heartache.
I rarely meet other Christians, but I am often given the opportunity to love people as they are and to be the hands and feet of Christ in simple ways. All we are called to do is plant the seeds and Jesus takes care of the rest. My life’s calling is to meet people in painful places and I am deeply grateful for the stories I’m entrusted to hear.
Years ago, after Jesus healed me of my own cancer, I committed my life to helping others stand again while pointing them toward a loving Father who never forsakes or abandons His children. I hope I am making Jesus proud and my mother as well.
Each day, I walk with deep gratitude and thankfulness for the life I have been given.
El Roi is my everything. I love Him so much.
YOU ARE SEEN BY JESUS
In Genesis 16, Hagar gives God a name. She calls Him El Roi, “the God who sees me.”
She encounters Him in the wilderness after rejection, mistreatment, and being driven away. Scripture tells us the Angel of the Lord found her. In the Hebrew, this implies intentional pursuit. God did not stumble upon Hagar. He went looking for her. In the same way, Jesus seeks us when we feel unseen, forgotten, or cast aside.
This season has been teaching me that God sees the endurance no one applauds. He hears the prayers whispered just to make it through another day. Silence does not mean absence. Often, it is where He is forming trust when sight and certainty fall away.
People often ask me, “How do you do this alone?” What they do not realize is this. I am never alone.
Jesus is always with me.
And still, we are human. We were created for connection. Jesus Himself chose people to walk closely with Him. He shared meals, conversations, grief, and friendship. He withdrew to be with the Father, yet He also invited others into His life because relationship was never meant to be optional.
That truth has made me more attentive to the hidden loneliness others carry.
One of my dear friends is a strong business leader and a mother with full days and heavy responsibilities. She once told me there is a loneliness people rarely talk about, the kind that exists even when you are surrounded by others yet still feel invisible. People value what you can give, but they do not always care to truly know who you are. This kind of loneliness, she explained, comes from depositing more than you receive.
Lately, the Lord has been bringing her words back to my heart because many of you feel this way.
Some of you feel misunderstood, overlooked, or unseen. I believe Jesus is intentionally drawing near to those who have felt hidden, dismissed, or forgotten in this season. God wants you to know that He sees you clearly and knows you deeply.
He notices His faithful servants who keep showing up without recognition. He sees you in crowded rooms where laughter fills the air, yet your heart feels unseen. He counts the tears shed in private. Jesus sees the abandonment and mistreatment. He hears the prayers whispered when you are too heartbroken to speak them aloud. Again, beloved, God sees it all.
Jesus has always moved toward the unseen. He acknowledged the woman who touched the hem of His garment. He called Zacchaeus down from the tree. He stopped for Bartimaeus when the crowd tried to silence him. Again and again, Jesus went out of His way for the one.
This is the heart of our Savior.
To the unseen, hear this. You are not invisible to God. You’re truly precious in His sight. He knows you. He is nearer than you think. He sees all that has happened to you. Often, it is in quiet and misunderstood places that His presence becomes most real. Please remember El Roi this season because He loves you so very much. 🕊️
When God Leads Us Before We Understand
I’m writing this word from the very spot shown in the photo above, tucked away in the jungle in Puerto Viejo, on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica. Monkeys zip high atop the trees, while brilliant butterflies and lizards dance nearby. I wake up to the sounds of roosters and fall asleep to the chorus of frogs and insects. In this place, God is healing my soul and restoring my identity. In Him, my heart has found rest.
Sometimes God leads us into El Silencio seasons, like that volcano hike, because He is drawing us into deeper trust where faith is formed without noise or constant signs. Often, the path forward becomes clear only as we follow the Holy Spirit step by step.
This is a yada kind of trust, a knowing that is shaped through experience and walking with Christ over time.
The children of Israel encountered this kind of faith as they prepared to cross into the Promised Land. In Joshua 3:4, the Lord instructed them to keep their distance from the Ark of the Covenant so they would know which way to go because they had never traveled that way before.
The Hebrew root for the word “know” comes from yada. Here, it does not mean having detailed instructions or full understanding. It means learning the way forward by watching where God is moving and trusting Him enough to follow. Israel would not know the path by past experience, only by keeping their eyes on His presence and moving in obedience.
This is the kind of faith God forms in seasons of silence. You have to watch and discern; it’s guidance-based knowing that becomes clearer in the future.
In El Silencio, God is not withholding the path forward. He is refining our ability to hear Him. This is a deeper, more mature faith, one that moves us from the milk of constant confirmation to the meat of trust and obedience. In this place, our hearts become so attuned to the Holy Spirit that we learn to walk behind His presence. We are guided more by peace and inner knowing than by signs and information. Our spirit bears witness to His Spirit. It’s as if God is saying, “Follow Me, and you will learn the way forward, because you’ve never gone this way before.”
If you are weary or troubled today, know this. Jesus is with you. You are not alone. In the silence, He is forming something strong within you.
The Holy Spirit is releasing a finisher’s anointing over your life.
Keep going.
The summit holds a sweet surprise.
You will laugh at what God does.
Deuteronomy 31:8
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Isaiah 26:3
“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.”
Here are some of my pictures from my trip. This is my current “secret place,” where I meet Jesus each morning. It’s in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica. My Airbnb hosts came from New York and built this space with their own hands. They told me people back home thought they were crazy, but they knew it would work. For ten years, they cared for their mother as she battled Alzheimer’s. After her death, they built this home here. Over and over again, God places me alongside others who are walking through grief. We form close connections.
The sloths are my favorite. This little baby was right outside my house while in La Fortuna. I like to watch them take their time eating and moving. It reminds me to slow down.
In every town I visit, I always go to the churches.
Regardless of the denomination, the power of Jesus is always present in these towns where the people don’t have a lot, but they have mighty faith!
During this trip, I also did a turtle release! All the new babies made their way to the water. It was so inspiring to watch them flap with all their might to set out on their journeys! This was my turtle. He was one of the last to make it, but he finally arrived at the water! I was so excited for his new voyage!
From the moment the baby turtles hatch, they are ready for the ocean. Before the turtle release, we were told how we couldn’t carry them to the ocean. Their bellies had to touch the sand because in 20 years, they will return to the same beach to give birth to the next generation. It’s estimated that only 1 in 1000 turtles actually survive. You are the one. You’re the one that’s going to make it. Don’t give up!
I spent Thanksgiving walking this beach. I just felt so much gratitude for this past year. God’s truly a good Father and I love Him with all my heart.
One final look from La Fortuna! It’s so green and bursting with life!
Solomon learned about God through plants and animals (1 Kings 4:33). Wisdom is still all around us.
My neighbor brought me a fresh coconut this morning. In this tiny village, gifts are simple, often a pineapple, a coconut, or something grown and shared. It always makes me smile. There is a quiet unity here, a shared knowing that we all come from God and belong to Him. I’m deeply thankful for the path Jesus has chosen for me. I love His people so much.
“Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
—Philippians 3:20
“I’m doing it, Mom!” I love and miss you so much!
